Ecuador (Behind the Scenes)

What? I have already read your blog! No, no you haven't really. Yes, I have been asked by my Rotarian leader to write a blog for our group (with the help of my co-GSE members) but that doesn't mean that I can say whatever I want - like I usually do. So, just because I can, I am taking you behind the scenes.

Anyone who has spoken to me, or at least tried to, in the last 2 weeks knows that I was a mental and physical wreck. It has been weeks since I had time to exercise and I think I left work maybe 1 time before 7pm in those 2 weeks. In addition to trying to plan for missing 3 weeks of school, I am trying to fight a totally illegitimate grade a nincompoop of a teacher is trying to give me, start my next grad school class, prepare for my trip to Ecuador, collect school supplies for my trip, create a blog for my trip and design an awe-inspiring PPT presentation to represent our team while we are traveling for the next month. Oh, and practice my Spanish, do my regular teaching work, and attempt to not die.

Note: Bad things happen in threes.

Background: The night before we leave, I am trying to run some last minute errands and instead run my car, at a decent and unstopping speed right into the wee little butt of a fully rebuilt totally stock '73 VW Karmen Gia. My car is a Huyandi, it isn't big, but it is half again as big as this particular car. Being that much bigger and driving without hesitation means that I possibly demolished this guys car. His little rear VW engine had parts of his trunk and rear fenders in it, the left fender was cracked all the way up to the driver's side door, and pieces of his rear turn signal were literally embedded in my front bumper. Yes, I know you are going to say the good thing is that no one is hurt. And while I do agree with you, that isn't my point. It sucked. Like those stupid vacuums that the bald dude is sticking onto bowling balls. You should have seen the look on the guys face when I said "This totally sucks as I am leaving the country first thing in the morning".

The second bad thing I am hoping was this next event but I might be mistaking the 3rd bad thing for the 2nd.

We are told that we have to be at the airport at 5. For this reason I don't get to see Chris one last time before I go but apparently that doesn't matter as long as I don't die. I also get to be the only person at the airport until 5:45. Joke is on me I guess. I end up having WAY TOO much stuff and have to scramble and throw my stuff into Heather's bag so that I can make weight and not pay for it. (Did I mention I didn't go to sleep at all Friday night? Well, I didn't go to sleep at all Friday night.) Then Marta shows up with what she insists are the last pieces of my Rotary uniform to which I insist are not. My cries fall on deaf ears and I am to believe that the sweatshirt I needed in XS will fit just the same in a M. Maybe if I was intentionally wearing my BF's sweatshirt.

We wait an hour, take an hour flight to LA, wait an hour, take a 4 hour flight to Miami, wait an hour, and then take our final 3 hour flight to Guayaquil. In that last precious hour before landing I am desperately trying to get some sleep when I get a rude awakening: my pants are cold and soaked through with some sort of liquid! What?! "Did she pee herself?" you ask. You wish! (hater) The guy next to me who has now polished off 6 bourbons since dinner has "accidentally" spilled his ENTIRE drink on my lap and I am sitting in its amazingness. He says he's super sorry but his words fall on deaf ears (probably like my same sentiments to the VW owner the night before). This is Bad Thing #2 in part because it was cold, wet, and uncomfortable, in part because there was still an hour left on the plane, and in part because I smelled like alcohol and was sticky from the soda. Oh yeah, and also it was terrible in part because we were set to be greeted by the President of the Rotary Club at the airport. Cool. Wet (check), smells like hard A (check), looks like she hasn't slept (check). What a great first impression. To make this experience even better, our team leader INSISTS I put on my Rotary sweatshirt at the airport. 1) it is humid in Ecuador and a sweatshirt is not needed, especially in the airport and 2) my sweatshirt is soaking wet. I try to explain this to her, as I also try to explain the wet pants but she'd too caught up on her feelings of goose bumps from meeting other Rotarians on the plane. (They were from Canada, who cares?) I put it on but attempt to take it off 3 more times without being detected to no avail. She says it is VITAL I wear it as these people are going to want to take my picture as soon as we get off the plane. They obviously don't have much experience with Americans and international travel.

Upon arriving in Guayaquil we are greeted by a bunch of important people but namely our host families. We are taken home where immediately it becomes clear to me that I don't speak a lick of Spanish, my thighs are sticking to my pants, and I have an assignment due for grad school. It was amazing to finally sleep however. Our first day here they decide it would be awesome to go for a sailing trip. Why does everyone who has a boat think that every other person in the entire world loves boats? Maybe if I loved boats so much I would buy one. Heather and I ended up with the same host family and while she and our host, Rafael, chatted away in their fluent Spanish, I decided to sleep for most of the 2 hour drive to Salinas on the coast. As soon as I step on the boat I feel nauseous. I take a "less drowsy" (BS) Dramamine and then proceed to sleep in awkward places and positions for the duration of the boat trip. I then slept the entire trip home, but so did Heather. A girl gets tired after partying on a boat all day.

Today was our first "vocational day". We also had to wear full uniforms. I think Marta, our leader, looks at us like dressed up purse dogs when we are in uniform. Thank goodness she takes a million pictures so that no one misses a moment of our shared clothing experience. We spent most of the morning and afternoon at a school where the 6th graders intimidated me with their Spanish and I digressed from speaking somewhat broken Spanish to mumbling and asking someone else to translate for me. It was also around this time that I discovered I forgot my camera battery charger at home (great move) and that it will most likely not be able to be replaced or delivered while I am here. Note 2: I would like to lump this event with Bad Thing #2 as the following just tops the cake and HAS TO have the final spot. We then spent the evening in even fancier Rotary uniforms and the situation digressed to everyone saying (in Spanish) that I don't speak Spanish at all and then proceeding to talk about how sad that is (or at least that is what I am going to say they were saying). Too bad I understand you buttfaces.

BAD EVENT #3: Yes, it is so bad I need to yell it. We get back from our formal gathering of shaking hands, kissing babies, too many photos, a 7 foot Canadian woman, a dirty old man hitting on Heather, and an open buffet/bar to an email from the man who was supposed to be my substitute for the next 3 weeks telling me something drastic came up and he has to cancel. It is likened to picking the perfect surrogate parent and then having them tell you that starting immediately you'll have to find someone, or perhaps a group of random someones to take over their position as the person giving your seed life immediately. I have no idea what to do. My kids could end up with a different person every day. They could learn absolutely nothing in the next 3 weeks. All of my VERY hard work in carefully planning my time away from my class could quickly be made a waste of time. I also still haven't done my grad school work. I didn't pack my Nike + IPOD running thing and I gave myself a goal of running everyday (not that the 2 are mutually exclusive but they make for good companions). I forgot to print out all the requested pictures of my friends, family, and life. I have turned into the tech go-to person which means I am in charge of making sure everything goes good with pictures, PPTs, blogs, emails, etc.

Tomorrow we leave for our 2nd city, Cuenca. I hope that things start turning around.